your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
