ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
