Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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