Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
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