I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
