i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
