I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
