omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
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