the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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