Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
My bed is full of blood and feathers
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize