Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
