the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
