no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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