Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
