it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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