big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
