how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
