covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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