she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
The ass gains better be worth it
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