I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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