By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
