I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize