talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize