lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
