were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
