So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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