the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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