Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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