and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
tell me about the fingering
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
