sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
