the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
