The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
