hell yes lets make some ravioli
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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