So drunk its hurt
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
birth control should be required to get into college
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
