my vag is so smooth its legendary
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Randomize
