i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
MIDGETS
????
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
