i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
