Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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