I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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