Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
