I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i already hear my dad disowning me
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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