How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Dicks are not precious.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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