bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
