He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I just want nice things and good sex
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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