Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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