You work out of a Hotel?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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