Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
