Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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