Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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