I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
