Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
