I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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