My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
