I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
