Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
