You really coming over, don't trick.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
what day is it and did you see me today?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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