We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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