I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
