ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Randomize
