I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
