EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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