remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
