I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
