YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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