You work out of a Hotel?
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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